Elina – The start of a journey

Down three months of being puked and potty-ied on, I finally get some time and energy to jot down a few words. As always, I usually sit down to write when I have difficulty in expressing my feelings in my head and words seem to help me think straight.

The opening line doesn’t look very appealing, at least to anyone who is yet to become a mother. Even I used to think that cleaning up after a baby – never! I used to wonder how I will do it, now I wonder how I happily do it.

I have been showered with advice during my pregnancy. Luckily, I had a seemingly easy one as I was constantly on the move and on my feet till the last day. What I heard the most were – your days of freedom are going to get over; you will miss the pregnancy period once the baby is here; be prepared for sleepless nights; and feel like a milk-producing cow. What most of them missed mentioning is – freedom (as defined) is not even worth comparing to the feeling when you see your baby sleep in your arms; the pregnancy period was just a phase of blissful apprehension; the sleepless nights are times you are closest to your baby and hear her breathe; and feeding is the most rewarding experience – when you know you are capable of giving birth and nurture such a precious part of your life.

Elina was born after 8 hours of overnight labour – it did somehow give me perspective as to the pain a mother goes through and the responsibility that is endowed on you. The first sight of her is quite a blur, a brief second of a blood-covered silhouette of a baby. In fact my husband and I missed the announcement by the doctor that it was a girl! Happiness abound and to our delight, she had her eyes open for more than an hour and slept only after she was fed. Now I wish time had stood still then, since nothing on earth can imitate the feeling of holding your child for the first time. I now know when I heard someone say – you forget about the pain when you are pregnant again, since you know a bundle of joy ensues soon!

Big eyes, white as a sheet, long fingers, and the smallest and most delicate baby I have ever held in my arms – yes, I felt proud like a peacock! It’s a wonder how a child can make memories in every moment of her presence. I hope I am able to archive her childhood in my own small ways for her to see once she is all grown up! Three months and she already seems to be growing fast – all I can do is to bask in every glowing instants of her growing years.

Hunt for Namesake, Soul, etcetera...


As always, I have been pondering over a lot of stuff, and more so lately due to the overhaul in our life, the temporary country shift, et al. The ponderings have now become vocal and I seem to have become garrulous in extending the gyan to a few of my closest friends. And writing about them always helps me summarise, hence the following content.

My blog has been cluttered with the recent events in my life, mainly the break from career and staying across the world. Everyone goes through the emotional turmoil, of living a life of loneliness, away from kith and kin. The cultural difference and the very idea of ‘fitting in’ in someone else’s land is a huge task in itself. The legal formalities and extra cautiousness to adhere to all the paperwork does not make it easy. There remains a constant scare, a ‘flight’ stimulus that coaxes you to return to your own place at the first possible chance. I do not want to sound stereotypical. Some people do take to the new country like fish to water. Outliers, or otherwise, the people who settle down in the initial months survive happily, unlike us unlucky souls.

Amongst all the confusion, indecisiveness and contentions, a visit back home became necessary, just to remember our sane selves. The run-up to the trip was quite exciting, dreaming about Mom’s cooking, about playing with my pet, etc. but a day before the journey, you are again high-strung due to the distance, the getting-adjusted-to-IST thing, and the premonition of again leaving your loved ones behind when you will be travelling back. Yeah, I do tend to think a lot.

This is when I went into a self-rediscovery mode. Self-actualisation is a superhuman feat, but I believe knowing oneself to a large extent and empathy are two things that defines personality. There is a bit of Gemini in all of us, we are two human beings residing in one body. Our inner namesakes decide, with time, the extent of revealing oneself to the outer world. We call that the hunt for the soul, of finding the sheer meaning of existence. The more you talk to yourself, the more insights you get of the person you are.

Empathising plays a great role when this internal tête-à-tête happens with another person. The more you gauge your own life, the more you realise that the person in front of you has his / her own story to tell. Slowly, this entire empathising-behaviour gets internalised to the extent that every time you meet a person, you remember his preferences and biases, you try to read his mood and body language, and weigh any crises that might be existing before you open your mouth to rattle off about yourself. Obviously, your own bias and opinion about the person also shapes the conversation.

The above two paragraphs may or may not make any sense to you, maybe I am just rambling to myself. But as I said before, sometimes jotting down helps me frame my thoughts. Being home after a long self-imposed exile brought back childhood memories. You yearn for things to go back in time, when you wake up to the heavenly scent of Mom’s cooking, the familiar sound of the steel company’s timely sirens, the surprise at the voice of the same hawker who still passes by your street and best of all, the numerous people you meet on the road who remember you since as a child. And you are happy that the town is developing, with more shops at the local market, a new mall cum multiplex that has opened up, and the technological and fashion upgrade around the landscape.

What is sad, or scary, is that – while you were away, you have grown a year older. You have missed a precious year to be near your parents, to cater to their needs, to play with your dog, or to see your house requiring more repairs. Some things you feel are exactly the way you had seen last, but they astonish you the most because they would have definitely changed over the period. For you time stood still, with two visits a year. You expect the same scenario to be retained, but those memories bring the maximum heartache.

The last decade has been so hectic that I never had a chance to realise the importance of ‘moments’. In a hurry to rise up the career-ladder, I never took a step back to think and relive the old memories. Reading at the exact same spot where you used to study as a kid, the smell of oncoming winter, the sun-bathing on the veranda on a cold noon, mixed with of course the pampering and care received at home. Everything seems so simple and tension-free that it makes me glad to have grown up as a small-town girl, and to have such down-to-earth parents.

Soul searching or namesake hunt, the potpourri of emotions is what makes people interesting. As for me, I know that even talking or writing about the memories will not erase one prime state-of-mind: GUILT. I think many people feel the same, with the growing financial needs and cravings, we are never coming back to our beloved small towns. The getting-back-to-roots is never going to happen; the bigger task lies in accepting the same and carrying on with a normal life.

All we can do is reminisce about the past, implement the happy thoughts in the present, and hope to create a lovelier future. Amen!

When Mexico City was Tenochtitlan...


The Day 3 started with a small fiasco. We were really keen to see some more of the archeological history around the city, hence our target was the Museum of Anthropology. We wanted a slow morning and started off around 11.30 am for the museum. Little did we know that there will be almost 2km long queues at both the entrances! We circled the venue, thinking if there will be some alternate entrance for foreign tourists. There were none. We took another taxi back to the hotel, but there were road-blocks all around. The main roads were reserved for the skaters and cyclists on Sundays till 2pm, and it took 45 minutes to reach back. We were 400 pesos poorer and dejected at wasting the morning.

The Templo Mayor ruins were left to be seen, so we headed straight towards the site, after a brief break at the hotel room. En route, we entered the compounds of the Mexican Supreme Court and clicked some pictures of the interesting building structure.

Our major pain point was lack of English speaking crowd. The entry-point to the temple ruins also had a long queue, so we decided to have lunch instead and then head back. Both of us wanted some light lunch and searched for an unnamed street food that everybody seemed to be having. Finally it was located at those super-small 'thelas'. We ended up having chillis and bacon, and enchiladas at a local Bar-cum-Restaurant. The cheese could have been lesser though, no wonder the people (specially women) have such huge tires around their bellies.

We gawked at some local street dancers and the traditional dancers on the way. Curiously, the Mexicans seemed quite superstitious, similar to our culture - we came across enchanters on the road to drive away evil spirits, and people actually flocked to them. We reached the ruins around 4pm. It was another enriching experience. The huge area almost declared to us its past glory. The magnificent architecture has had lots of meditations, offerings and self sacrifices to the God, a tradition quite rampant during the Aztec era. The killings were abolished instantaneously with the Spanish conquest.

There were small boards with details written at each corner of the ruins. Interesting was the fact that there were quite a few teenagers, writing down notes from these boards, and clicking pictures on a Sunday afternoon. They all seemed to be on some school project. It kind of touched us since this seemed to be an ideal way to inculcate the importance of your own historical significance from an early age. You learn to respect that feeling throughout your life and pass it on to the next gen as well.

The temple used to have seven layers to maintain the inner sanctum. It was brought down by the Spanish soon after the invasion of the then Tenochtitlan (old name for Mexico City). There is a museum attached to the ruins that contains artifacts from the early age. With eight levels and hundreds of beautiful artifacts on display, we took almost an hour and a half to even scan through. Closing time was nigh and we did not have another day to come back.

We sometimes notice weird facts on our trips. One of them were the entry fees of each of the tourism sites - they are a standard 57 pesos, with no difference between locals and foreigners OR between the sites. This maybe to maintain equality of historical significance, or maybe we were deducing too much.

Late in the evening, we went to the local market again to experience the evening communal dances and smell the local food. Then we walked to the Monument of Revolution that we could see from our hotel room, and were curious to see it up front. The building is 52 mts high and was made during the first centennial celebrations. The colourful dancing fountain in the front had many people having a fun time in the water. We clicked some pictures and went up in the glass elevator, to the top of the building. The evening wind and the night-scape welcomed us with all its serenity. Some half an hour later, we came down from the building, only to see something totally unexpected. There was an open-air projection theater and Iron Man II had just started. Pleasant surprise there!

We headed back to the hotel room with warm thoughts of the day, and 312 pictures of the day in our camera. The entire city is a wonderful amalgamation of modern civilization with old architecture, all within walking distance. As I already said, the local people respect their own culture. There are various musicians on the roads as well. The people like to spend quality family time on Sundays, encourage their performers, eat to their heart's content, and live life in their own terms - no less than King size!

Our flight was in the early morning. A quick dinner later, we tucked in for the night and headed back to LA the next day.

Pre-Aztec era in Mexico


A lot of 'Gracias', 'Senorita', 'Por Favor', 'Amigo', and 'Hola' throughout Day 2's tour, we finally picked a few of the in-vogue words. I cannot put my finger on the highest point, yet I would say the experience at the Pyramids were supreme, along with tasting deer for the first (maybe only) time ever, and the Latin dance at the local market in the evening. I almost felt like joining the dance, where there were people from all ages moving to the lovely tunes.

The day started at 10.30 am. We had booked a day-long private tour to Teotihuacan, the Pyramid of the Sun and the Pyramid of the Moon. Considering it was $160 for both of us, a quite reasonable deal for an entire day's trip. A brief and pleasant 45 minutes' drive later, we reached the grounds of the Pyramids.

Our chauffeur of the day was Roul, an 'English-speaking' Mexican, as specified by the concierge. Yeah, he did manage to communicate with us and take us through various anecdotes and historical significance of the country. The first stop was at the artifacts emporium, which was information galore! The rock formed as a result of cooled magma (the parent material) is called Obsidian. Found here in abundance, the various colours of the rocks were formed due to the difference in pressure level. The black version is the hardest and was used to make weapons by the Aztecs. Then there were quartz, purple, etc, along with the golden rock that is the rarest of the lot. The artisans still make beautiful mementos and sculptures out of the rocks, which are sold at government approved prices.

The next set of admiration was reserved for the multi-purpose cacti that are grown here, most of which were used for survival. They used to get fruits and juices from a cactus that gives it's produce for 2-3 months, after that the leaves and thorns are used for papyrus, threads, aloe vera, and needles used for anesthesia and stitching. Larvae deposits on the cacti leaves were crushed to get a red hue and some leaves give the yellow colour - these were used by the Aztecs to colour their murals. The juices are used to make the local alcohol called pulque, which is still made here to taste and sell. For me, the most interesting fact was that Tequila is made from these juices and the Spanish method of distillation results in modern day version of the alcohol.

While we were still processing the gallon-load of information, Roul drove us to the actual destination. We did not really know what to expect, and you cannot make out anything from the parking lot, mainly because of the tall, thick, stone boundary that cordoned off the area. By the time we reached the top of the wall, we forgot all about the cacti and rocks, blown away by the grandeur in front of us.

Standing tall at 70 meters high, with 248 steps (each approx 1 feet tall), the mammoth structure of the Sun Pyramid welcomed us in all its glory! To the left of the Sun Pyramid, almost a kilometer away is the Moon Pyramid, which is not as tall but possesses it own beauty in structure. The pyramids were made by pre-Aztecs, potentially the Olmecs around 400 BC to 700 AD. The very top of the Sun Pyramid was a temple, which was blown away by a dynamite during excavation.

I somehow managed to huff and puff to the top, with sufficient breaks of course. We were lucky to get a clear blue sky, which accentuated the Pyramids even more. A circle around the top and we decided to climb down. It was tougher, with the sheer height of the steps, the extra tangential pyramid slope and the broken rocks. Needless to say, I did not have enough energy left to climb the Moon Pyramid.

Besides the Moon Pyramids, there is a large excavation of a palace with beautiful murals and advanced architecture. Even the sewage system was nicely organised, with indoor toilets in the living quarters. Next we spent some time at a comparatively smaller pyramid that proved that they were an agriculture based clan. There are lots of the head structures on the walls of Rain and Thunder Gods, and Quetzalcoatl (Feathered Serpent or Precious Twin - God of intelligence and self-reflection), with more murals to highlight the sculptures. And yes, the Pyramids have been recognised by UNESCO as a World Heritage Site.

Quite a few clicks later, we left for a sumptuous late lunch. Roul told us that in Mexico, the restaurants that are most crowded are the ones with the best and authentic food. He recommended deer for me and we took rabbit as well - the kind of food we do not get everywhere.

The final halt of the day was the church of Our Lady of Guadalupe, known as the Virgin of Guadalupe who was a celebrated Roman Catholic icon of the Virgin Mary. The first church of Lady Guadalupe could hold only 700 people, even though it is huge structurally. The Aztec symbol is an eagle sitting on a cactus and devouring a snake, which stand on both sides to the entrance. The foundation of this church is sinking and it actually stands at an angle now. A new church was built with modern architecture besides the old one, and this church holds 10,000 people. The richer Mexicans who stay in Canada send money for the Independence month's celebrations (September, and the year was 1810). Also, the inside ornate ceiling design is made of wood that they have sent. An interesting factor of the new church is that it has moving walkways in front of the deity to avoid cluttering of the people.

A small visit to the local market and we went back to the hotel, after the tiring, yet exciting day amongst Mexican history. The final day lay ahead of us.

Christianity's entry-point to the Americas

A quick telegram :

Mexico similar to India. Missing Bangalore. STOP. It's COLD! Unexpected, feeling stupid. STOP. Women smoke more. STOP. People stare! STOP. Should learn Spanish to visit. STOP.

If I could time travel to the 1960s, that is how my message would have looked. Sending message might have been costly then, but I guess Telegram beats Twitter any day, simply because of its ingenuity and necessity of the service.

A mild digression and here is the day-by-day account of our Mexico trip. This is September 21, 2012.
Day Uno:
Though I consider myself a morning person, a flight at 7.15am was a bit too much, that too an international travel. The cab picked us at 3.50am. Being in LA, Mexico sounds like just over the border but it was a whole 3 hrs 30 mins journey in the air.
While chalking out the tour itinerary, we had settled down on the major sites we would like to cover in our 2.5 days' trip. Conveniently, we assumed that the country will be as hot as LA and sniggered at the people who were wearing coats at the airport. Little did we know we were the actual dodos.
As we approached the airport, the one thing that caught our attention was the roof-tops, all of them were red in colour, rendering a lovely hue to the entire city. A small needle-in-haystack search later in the Mexico City airport, we traced our hotel pickup chauffeur. The drive to the hotel was smooth, especially with the chatty driver. She tried her best to convey her welcome in broken English. And we literally were amazed by the sceneries around - roadside outlets, peak traffic, mindless pedestrians, hawkers, a mix of narrow and broad streets, flyovers - everything looked so similar to Bangalore that we yearned to be back home.
The differentiation stood at road-signs, posters, graffiti, and 'Viva Mexico' crying out from all around in Spanish. And of course, the pain in conversing. It reminded me of my initial days in Bangalore where dumb-charades had become a survival tactic. We almost cursed ourselves for not learning the language before visiting. Even the hotel staff and the 'policia' are non-English speakers!
The currency conversion is around 12 pesos per dollar currently. A decent deal from Hilton and the conversion rate made our life somewhat peaceful here. We reached the hotel room just before 3pm. A bath and lunch later, we headed for a small walk to Metropolitan Cathedral. There was a huge procession on the streets. All we could garner was, it consisted mostly of college students and they were demanding some sort of employment rights. Anyhow, it was a huge chaos on the roads. The combat policemen were around to control the crowd.
The walk to the old church is quite interesting. The buildings around are at least 300-400 years old, making the whole set-up quite surreal. It felt as if the people here transformed over time, keeping the background intact. And how the people stare! Young and old, men and women - they just scan you top to bottom! Sounds so much like back home or maybe I have got unused to the fact by living in LA, where nobody gives you a second glance.
Metropolitan Cathedral is the first church in the American continent, built by the Spaniards soon after the conquest of the Aztecs. The Spanish ruled the country from early 1500s to early 1800s, heralding Christianity to the land. They, of course, stamped the culture remarkably on Mexico. The church is humungous, even my 18-55 had trouble encapsulating it from up front. There are interesting underground pathways on the church grounds, now covered by transparent thick glasses. The inside of the church is a grand golden architecture, the striking feature is the black Christ that we found unique. The exploration was cut short since it was past the visiting hours (till 5pm).
A slow walk back through the crowd, we stopped at Starbucks for some coffee and to gloat at the new culture. Quite an experience it was.

Day 1 ended with an early dinner and bedtime. The next day was definitely going to be more interesting. The Pyramids of the Sun and Moon at Teotihuacan awaited us!